Unlovable

Kennedy Center Ceiling

As  21 year old nursing students at Goshen College (http://www.goshen.edu/), my friend Beth and I were accepted at a summer program in Washington DC to work at Children's Hospital National Medical Center as child care technicians (CCT). (The movie version would probably have been called "Country Girls' Adventure in the Big City")
Learning to use public transportation was crucial since we didn't have a car, and learn it, we did. People were mostly friendly and helpful, and being a racial minority was an important growth experience.  Only once did I get on an express bus by mistake which took me way past my designated stop. Oh well, I needed a long walk....

CCT's worked all three shifts, so public transportation during the hours of darkness added stress and challenge especially as we had to change buses in an unsavory neighborhood. One night as Beth and I waited for the second bus to pick us up on a lonely corner across from a bar, a man sauntered into view, shadow boxing, talking to unseen entities, dancing, and moving closer and closer.  Chalk it up to my country girl ignorance, I  was stupidly holding my bus transfer slip in my hand and had my stethoscope draped around my neck. This guy came up and plucked the transfer right out of my hand and reached for my 'scope which I grasped tightly. We made zero attempts to engage him in conversation but passively tried to ignore him while silently praying for the bus to come quickly. (Probably something like, "BUS GET HERE! BUS GET HERE! BUS GET HERE! PLEASE, GOD!)
The bus arrived, but of course, the guy had MY bus pass and got on with us.  The seat immediately behind the driver was open, and we scooted into it like lambs to their mama.  The harassment escalated with verbal remarks and leering. A grimy hand reached out toward Beth's leg, and she hollered "Don't touch me!"
Now the driver got involved, and two men began yelling at each other. Thankfully the hospital came into view, and Beth and I quickly exited the bus with the driver continuing to engage the obnoxious, horrible man.

I called him worse things in my journal of which the last line in my writing reads, "God is certainly marvelous if he can love such scum." 

Recently I was grumbling to Brother Nelson about someone I know who is difficult, controlling, and unpleasant to be around.  His gentle response was something like, "As hard as it is, aren't those the people who usually need the most love?"

God is, indeed, marvelous. When people say, "But for the grace of God, there go I." I now think, "There is the grace of God. For God's love is marvelous and encompassing. Lord, as I accept that love for myself, let me love others as you love." 

In his presermon notes, Brother Mick says,

"The concept of love seems to be a very natural and appropriate one for Mother’s Day. Yet again, I am reminded that the sentimental, familial kind of love that we refer to when thinking of our mothers can be very different from the difficult kind of “loving someone unlovable” love we are called to as God’s people. The writer of I John would suggest that we start the process of really loving as God has called us to by first and foremost loving God. When we love God and obey God’s commandments, the writer says, then we will know that we are God’s children."  The sermon text is I John 5:1-6 with adjunct texts being Psalm 98 and Acts 10: 44-48, and the message is titled, "When We Love God."

I look forward to seeing you in the Upper Room this week at 9am. The worship service begins at 10:15am. http://www.ridgeviewmennonite.net/ 

My prayer for today:

Lord God, today we rest in your peace and love even when we are exhausted from finals, nighttime feedings, difficult coworkers, illness, and tough job stuff.  Today, Lord, we cling to you for comfort and safety for though the mountains tremble and the oceans roar, your love for us in unending even as we are deemed unlovable by people. Remind us that we are a family, united as your children, and that your neighborhood knows no borders. Instill in us a desire to offer hospitality and kindness to strangers and share extravagantly with those in need. I pray that each of us reading this, Jesus, will experience you in new, refreshing ways today. Come Kingdom of God; be done will of God, here on earth as it is in heaven.   In Jesus name. AMEN.  

Without question or doubt, you are loved by God, and I love you too! You can always contact me if you need to talk.

Love and Light,
carol "Always remember who you are, whose you are, where you are going, and what you believe, because it does make a difference!  Oh, and don't forget to attend a church of your choice this weekend. "  jd